I dunno how Jay Howell merited a tattoo (career with the A’s: 3.68 ERA; 1.4 WHIP; 107 ERA+ — in layman’s terms, hell of adequate-at-best), but that wall-eyed, crooked thousand-yard-stare and that off-center lopsided chin-butt are going to haunt my deepest nightmares for a while.
Rick Mahler, meanwhile, is the ideal embodiment of the ’80s Beardo Pitcher and should be printed on t-shirts.
Source: Flickr / bartsol
An anti-New Wave t-shirt offered by the entrepreneurs at Barbaric Enterprises. From the August 1984 issue of Hit Parader.
Sick of wimpy display typefaces? Support Windsor!
“Goddammit, dude, we can’t move none-a these ‘DISCO SUCKS’ shirts no more! Ain’t nobody even callin’ that shit ‘disco’ — it’s all ‘techno’ this and ‘freestyle’ that! We gotta find a new scapegoat.”
“Wotta’bout that boomfsh-biffsh hippedy-hop stuff? I hear that garbage comin’ outta ghetto blasters when I go into the city every other week. Buncha dumbshits spinnin’ around on cardboard every time I try ta wait for the C train. It’s a nuisance.”
“It’s a fad is what it is. I ain’t goin’ broke printin’ 10 thousand ‘RAP IS CRAP’ shirts just to see the whole ennerprise goin’ toiletwards by ‘86.”
“Well, I’unno, man. What else sucks? What else can we do to get Barbaric back onna rocker-shirt gravy train? I usedta move units out in Coney and Atlantic City by the truckload every day, now it’s all remaindered ‘FUCK GO-GO’ merch gettin’ sent back to us from D.C. ‘cause we misread the national market.”
“Wait. You got that cousin in Brooklyn who’s inta that whole punker scene, right?”
“Yeah, he knows a couple-a the boys in Murphy’s Law. They drink together sometimes.”
“An’ what pisses them off?”
“Shit, just about everything. The bad news is punkers don’t like headbangers that much, but at least there might be some crossover potential there. Ever hear Suicidal Tendencies?”
“Yeah, that ‘I wanna Pepsi’ song kicks some ass.”
“Right. So anyways, I was hangin’ out wid ‘em last month, and they were just so pissed off about MTV an’ all-a the skinny-tie shit, the Duran Duran pretty-boy crap. One’a them said somethin’ that sounded like it’d make a good t-shirt slogan, I dunno if he was quotin’ somebody else or what, but I think —”
“Just spit it out, man.”
“He said, ‘do you want new wave or do you want the truth’?”
“I know, right?”
“Yeah, yeah… but that’s a lotta words for a shirt. Maybe if we distill it down to the essence o’ the thing…”
“I got some Ballantines if you wanna brainstorm.”
“Fuck yeah, man.”
Here’s another thing Danny wants. Like anyone else, Danny wants to be respected as an artist and a human. Like any other male, especially those in the public eye (and especially those who spend a lot of time talking about licking vaginas), he wants to be respected as a “man.” I’m only putting man in quotation marks because my ideal man is currently at home in NYC lighting cupcake-scented candles and taking bubble baths.
But we all know what happened last week at our show in Minneapolis, an event that we’re currently referring to in the bus as “The Thing,” because we all kind of want to forget about it. Ever since it happened the universal respect Danny commanded has splintered into two groups: one side thinking he’s way more awesome than they should, and the other thinking he’s an awful misogynist and hack. This bothers me a lot. Him too, but mostly me. I’m mad as hell, to be honest.
I almost went to this show but didn’t for a number of reasons (deadlines; brokeness; etc.). So the fact that this is threatening to become the most infamous moment in Twin Cities rap show history — even more than the Ice Cube fracas in ‘92 that led to First Avenue 86’ing rap show booking for a while — means I don’t know what to say about it, really. But this post from Kitty, who’s been touring with Danny Brown, is an underrepresented perspective, what with her being well aware of the pitfalls of gender roles in these situations and also actually being there and being someone who gives a shit on a personal level about how Brown has to deal with these situations. Here’s another choice quote:
It’s obvious that the reason nobody cares is because a girl did it to a boy. I said this on my blog, but I’ll say it again here—I had my pants ripped off onstage, and didn’t know what to do either because being naked in front of 1000 people is incredibly scary and there’s not much quick decision-making happening in your brain during that sort of thing. Now I’m prepared to kick a motherfucker in the teeth if he touches me at all, and I equip myself with giant boots for that reason. What is Danny supposed to do? The girl was at mouth-to-dick level already and to push her away, he would’ve had to either pushed her face or kicked her, and even the most gentle of either motion would immediately be labeled “abuse” by anyone watching. Guys pushing girls is not a good look when people are taking photos. So what was Danny supposed to do, other than back away, which he did? And if he had figured out a way to gently push the girl off him immediately without looking like he was smacking her in the face, he’s faced with attacks on his masculinity by every douchebro in the building. Yo dude, you don’t want your dick sucked, bro? Are you gay? Haha you’re gay you don’t want girls to suck your dick haha gay dude bro man swag! And that’s a rapper’s literal nightmare.
Reggie Watts - Life on the Road.
MICHAEL WINSLOW, THO.
Obligatory “Reggie Watts is a damned genius” reblog. Also good to see Michael Winslow given his due.
Ben Geier | http://bengeier.com
“Ongoing side project where I redesign all the logos of my favorite record labels in a retro style. Taking lots of Inspiration from the Batman Animated Series.”
I’ve always a had deep interest in the arts. I grew up writing music in rock bands and creating record artwork for those bands and friends as well. I enrolled in a design program at Columbia College Chicago and also started working as an animator in Chicago at Design Kitchen, which led me into the digital design world. I live outside of Chicago, in one of the western suburbs with my wife and kids.
Actual artwork from US patent 8246454 B2, registered by Sony Computer Entertainment: “System for converting television commercials into interactive networked video games.”
You always and ever were the product.
“THROW PICKLE IN BURGER TO SPEED UP COMMERCIAL” is like some kind of weird, inexplicably sad Achewood joke.
AN OPEN LETTER TO MILES DAVIS
By Charles Mingus
November 30, 1955
Down Beat Magazine
Four editions of Down Beat come to my mind’s eye-Bird’s “Blindfold Test,” mine, Miles’, and Miles’ recent “comeback story”-as I sit down and attempt to honestly write my thoughts in an open letter to Miles…
Somehow the original Tumblr post quoting the piece has vanished but it’s readable here. An amazing, somewhat sympathetic callout by Mingus, in response to this piece, among others. I don’t know what Miles thought about it (or if), but it’s interesting to read in light of that later Miles “blindfold test” article from 1964 that was making the rounds a while back.